Dating and New York: Reframing the Romance of the Metropolis 👑

Since everyone’s mileage is different, you need to decide for yourself what makes you feel comfortable and confident. We’ve gathered some tips and advice here, but you might consider these to be just a few good reasons to give it a try!

The big, broad purpose of dating is to connect and build relationships. That being said, dating in the era of the Internet has changed a lot in the last 10-15 years. It’s a big part of who you are as a person that matters when connecting with people (often much more so than what you’re wearing, what car you drive, or what job you do). Don’t be afraid to let yourself be more authentic with people you’re dating—both online and off—because it will give you a chance to connect with someone on a deeper, more vulnerable level.

1. A Good Sense of Humor is Your Best Weapon

Is there any situation in life that needs a little levity? I would argue that dating is a good candidate for that, and I would go so far as to say that your sense of humor is probably more important than your sense of direction. Seriously—it’s how you interact with people on a day-to-day basis, not just your first date. Consider your online dating profile (or even if you have one!), and make sure it’s accompanied by a joke. If you’re not a big person, make a big person joke. If you’re a good one, it’ll reflect your personality. Consider that making a joke about your first date might be a little forward (but I’m betting it’s not), so maybe this is your chance to be the one to make the first joke, regardless of how uncomfortable you feel. After all, you only get one chance to make an impression in the beginning, and if you’re not yourself, it’s tough to be yourself and everyone you meet.

2. A Good Sense of Humor—Online as Well as In Person—is Important

In an era when the majority of communication with potential dates is through the Internet, it becomes even more important to make sure you are your best self online. Don’t worry: Online dating is still hard, and there are plenty of dating sites to choose from. But you have to be your best self—good or bad—while talking to potential dates. You can do this by keeping a picture of yourself on your profile, and by making sure your profile has a good writing style and is free of spelling errors (
Dating in today’s world comes with some advantages and disadvantages. The first, obviously, is that you can now do it from the comfort of your own home. The second is that people can find you with the click of a button. And the third, which is less obvious, is that you can pick who you want to talk to and see when you want. With this, comes a new set of risks. We asked some of Cosmopolitan’s expert writers to weigh in on what you need to consider when you’re looking for love. But first, a quick primer to save you from awkward double-takes and eyebrow-raising responses.

The Basics

The Basics

The basics to having a successful date. What you need to bring are comfortable, clean clothing, good accessories and a smile, says writer Lindsay Jacobellis. What you don’t need are empty promises of happiness. “Don’t think for an instant that those who promise you the moon are honest,” says Jacobellis, who also thinks that everything you wear needs to be of quality and fit.

In addition to wearing something clean, you need to look good. And what you’re wearing should fit well. Jeans should hug your body, and a shirt needs to be well-fitting. If you’re wearing a blouse or top with a strapless bra, you want to make sure you’re comfortable and have options. Everything needs to be clean. You can be the prettiest girl in the room, but that doesn’t matter if you’re covered in dirt. “If you don’t look good, you’re going to stick out,” says Jacobellis. Bring a little bit of confidence. “You want to feel pretty and at ease,” says Candice Mills, co-founder of the dating site Gourmandize. “Without that, you’re going to end up super uncomfortable and having low self-esteem. You just need to be ready for that.”

Your Appearance

The Basics

According to Donata Simmons, writer for Cosmo, you should focus less on how you look and more on who you are, even on a first date. That means that the focus isn’t on your wardrobe. It’s also not on your physical appearance. What you want to be perceived of is as fun, friendly and kind, says Simmons. “I always think it’s much worse to be skinny and not be happy with who you are.” You can look good, but you also need to make sure

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